It had been a hard day. Not one that anyone else would have known.
I had wept on the couch. Dried my tears and worked. And then repeated the cycle.
It was one of those days when the heart pain is so deep you do not even have words to pray. I just kept saying, Lord help me.
I was in the kitchen getting a warm beverage to try and muster up the energy and comfort to make it through the rest of the afternoon.
It doesn’t matter. I don’t matter...I don’t matter. Repeating over and over in my head.
As I stood there, mug in hand, I saw Jesus on the cross in my mind and heard him say, Look at Me on this cross and tell me you don’t matter. I did this for you.
I was moved and said thank you Lord, but it didn’t really hit me until I had to go out a short time later. I was on the bus, tears still in my eyes, hiding them behind my sunglasses. A little girl in front of me stared at me with her innocent, fun energy that only a child seems to possess.
I smiled at her. She could not see my eyes fortunately so I gathered up the biggest smile I could and she smiled back at me again and again. Trying to get her family to look at this lady who looked different from everyone else on the bus that day smiling at her.
And I thought...she matters. Everyone on this bus matters. Everyone matters.
YOU reading this. YOU matter.
A man died on a cross over two thousand years ago to prove it to you. So I don’t care how many times you have failed. How much you are hurting right now. YOU matter. Because your Creator says so. End of story.